And I am in tears!

and I am in tears!

Oh, cmon, not visibly 

But if I spoke right now to anybody

They would probably know 

That I don’t have a bad throat...

I know why and then I don’t know,

I don’t know because I don’t want to...

that it will hurt, even more 

if I said it...

out loud

and then you come, do 

just that ....

And I am in tears! 

its nothing p.a.r.t.icular

compare, belittle, trash & repeat

that’s all of it, I guess

little by little

straining piece of me

from yourself 

And I am in tears!

knowing 

that what awaits me

without an end

with finer holes

in future

And I am in tears! 

did not know...!

And
the thought of
going away...

It popped up
Just like that
There
In that moment

Or so I thought ....I did not know!

Because
It can’t be,
Can’t be that way

It was there,
All along...
waiting for that moment!

Writhing under the skin
With all it’s might
To tear apart
 and show
itself
In its form...ugly or beautiful.. I don’t know!!


Would
You
leave
Me?
Ever!!


It’s important
To know
....and I did not know....!


Leaving
behind
Chaos
Apathy
And p.a.i.n

Announced,
Not to come back...

That thought,
Was there
Somewhere
In you
And .........I did not know!

दर्द

शायद
यही है

शायद
ऐसे ही है

नियति
हाँ, वही

नियति
जिसमें दर्द है

बेइन्तेहाँ
दर्द

हर पल में
हर लम्हे में
बस
दर्द

कायनात के उस
ज़र्रे में
जहाँ
हम चाहते हैं
की ना हो



दर्द
वहां है तो बस
दर्द.........

स्पर्श

स्पर्श, आँखों से किया हमने उन्हें 

रोम से रोम तक, यहाँ वहां, जहाँ तहाँ 

गुलाबी पंखुड़ियों ये काली घटाओ तक 

सुंदरता से सुंदरता तक 

वक़्त के पद चिन्हों से 

समंदर की गहराइयों तक 

स्पर्श से स्पर्श 

करने की कोशिश 

पल में अनंत को 

जीने की कोशिश 

अंतर्मन से अंतस तक 

पहुंचने की कोशिश

नश्वर से अमर्त्य तक 

स्पर्श, अस्पर्श को एक ही पल में जीवंत,,आह,,,अहा,,,,,अद्भुत !

in the times of hopelessness

frigid, is the feeling of skin, desired

with scaling layers of blood smeared 

burn, not physical, cover whole soul

and they said its un-burnable 

vindictive eyes bare it all

parched, without hope of gaze

cracking spouts, in licked creases

pleading, to drenches in gashing 

dried are nostrils, hurts to breath

heart is still.................so still

to hear if she is there...

if she calls his name.... at all.. may be... perhaps...!

गुफ़्तगू

क्या कहें  क्या ना कहें,
कुछ इसी गुफ़्तगू में हैं हम|

 आपसे नहीं अपने,
लफ़्जों से ख़फ़ा हैं हम |

समझना औ समझाना ,
हमारे बस में नहीं शायद

मुहब्बत पे ज़िंदा रहें ,
यही ताक़ीद होता है |

Sad

it was not a choice 

like, to be or not to be 

the threads of my frame work

essence of my being 

when they realise upon me

it was already there, staring in silence

then I learned, I learned to read

and I thought I could fight

fight, the feeling of being sad

was I naive? may be or may be not

I learned to be not sad 

and then it pulled me back

like it never left 

from my realm, dripping from bones

I learned to flew and I flew high

was I puerile? may be or may be not

I felt I had to stop to fly

I was damned to come back

to the sad ground, 

where nothing grows and it just hounds

then it dawned upon me

the truth of the universe

seeds are in me, 

they just water them

cutting edges the cutting edge

they just show me the mirror

ugly and normal

pathetic, simply sad

should not it stop and

Lets just accept the fate!