तड़प

तड़प,
 नहीं पता मुझे
बस जी नहीं पाता हूँ

तेरी निगाह के
स्पर्श से
मरहूम

खुशबू
जब न हो ज़हन में वो
सांस ले नहीं पता हूँ

वक़्त
बेवक्त
बस यही
मैं कह नहीं पाता हूँ

आवाज़

हलक से आवाज़ निकली हि थी
और उन्होंने कहा. अभी आई
झुटपुटे से उजास निकली हि थी
कि एक बदली घिर आई
सीने से सांस निकली हि थी
कि और फिर न आई...

Gray Strand

and he stared in her eyes beyond that glimmer
to see in heart, caress her in sob
to say she is THE one, for he could take all that
to see that blue poetry with,  that forgotten gray strand...




P.S.: It is a continuation/reply to this post

और हम जड़ रह गए

....और हम रह गए जड़, कि हमने देखा उन्हें

नहीं, नहीं वोह हंसिनी न थीं 

नाही थी वोह मयूरी कोई 

शायद पलाश कि तलाश में 

वल्लाह! उनकी हर एक सिलवट में 

किंशुक से इस कदर मिल गए 

कि हमने देखा उन्हें, और हम जड़ रह गए ...

the Real Me

and it happened that way

the way I din't know will happen

some said, it was serendipity

other were sure about hallucination

not being sure about its crux 

I kept staring at nowhere

wanted or unwanted

desired or not so

but bound to be there 

without being there

smiles, frustration, advice, complain

all came along, in its lore

still in chaos, I see it 

as if I cannot see it

as I figure it, to be just a change

rocking & reeling all around

time has taken life to new place 

its Constant and Unavoidable 

well, I knew it will happen

with all & with me alike

am I not loosing myself as they say

or its just me & without any pretension of 

being the real ME

Agony

till death

damned to live

with agony of it

spreading smile

in other livings & deads

I walk on...

I walk on and,
I don't look back

with the breeze,
some times chilled
at others not cool enough

with sunshine
Ouch! scorching at time
Gentle, otherwise

I walk on and,

I don't look back


with moon light
humble to the core
though mysterious in its own right

with night
making moments sensuous
but not always as I thought

I walk on and,
I don't look back

with day
passing by
without noticing happening so

with the time
healer of its own sort
peeler, too of a special kind

with every moment
I walk on and,
Ah! I look back, though I walk on...

It just blows off...

when i try to cover it

it just blows off..for you

to see it

pain hurled in red threads of eyes

and tears to share the load

heavy heart & countless bloats

slow downed walk

eyes with out spark

vodka, wine whiskys & rum

all ready to scumb spirits

whether play it with charm

modulated voice

with tint of smile

blends of rejoice

when I try to cover it

it just blows off ...for you

to see it

यायावर

वीरानियाँ 

उन तल्ख़ रास्तों की 

जिनपे हम चल रहे हैं और थे कभी

डसती ना थी हमें इस क़दर 

ना हम तनहा थे और ना रहगुज़र 

रोज़ थी ईद और दिवाली हर लम्हे में छुपी 

ईख सी थी चखने में, कमबख्त आँखों की वो नमी 

तभी दिखा इक पड़ाव एक मोड़ पे 

ठंडी बयार सी लगी थी उस छोर पे

इल्म हुआ फ़ना इस उम्मीद के जोर में

मंजिल है यहाँ  हमारी लगाने लगा था उस पहर

हुआ सन्निपात तभी हमारी तन्द्रा पे

कहा रास्ते ने हंस कर, चले?

अवाक, मूक बस चल दिए फिर उस डगर

हँसते अपनी समझ और उनकी समझदारी पर 

सुन चुके थे उनसे यही चंद अल्फाज़ ए जिगर

थे, हैं और रहेंगे हम ता उम्र यायावर, 

Duality & Nature

Light has its own kind of duality. Universe has it too. May be all other things living/ non living have. It was a matter of amusement and surprize for me when I studied it first time. I wanted to find out how was it exactly. What was it? What it really a phenomenon or just a lack of knowledge and capabilities of we human that we could not find out the reality and just produced the mathematical explanation for whatever we thought was right. Little did that kid know that one duality is yet to come for his dilemma & dismay or both.


As time went by & gained more concious ( stupidity ) and entered into a larger horizon of people all around me through the all medium I was ashtonished to find out the duality of human being, which even defeat light to be honest. No mathematical could solve that for me.

The person who is happy watch porn with friends at home find its rape of culture if Murder or Water has been made and released in India. Mother who is happy when TV charactor is saying some words cant bear if her children doing the same. A Teacher who teaches to children that calling bad word is not right, instantly pick up the phone and answer with abuse.

The way they think for self, for family, for others families, all are different.

I learnt with time that this human spicy has been designed like that.

What do you think?

Ash

nothing, just ash

of cremation, which hadn't happened yet

coz, some creating ash through effigies

of damsels, posed nude but covered in ash

visible in that pair of eyes,

nothing , just ash


P.S.:  Reaction of Flame

Erase

tuning in & out, had been a habit

to find thee even in random gambit

in unknown faces and not even in just faces

it was a quest followed me in dreams, i erase

P.S: This is a reaction of  post Finding Self on Scribblings on the walls

पता नहीं

पता नहीं 

पता नहीं क्यूँ मैं मुस्कुरा कर चल दिया

दिल चाहता था की रोयें  

पर खिलखिलाकर हंस दिया

हर टुकड़े की कसक को दबा कर चल दिया 

ज़िन्दगी की ताल पे ताल मिला कर चल दिया 

उनकी आँखों के सितारों को संजो कर चल दिया 

हंसी को उनके लबों का रास्ता दिखा कर चल दिया 

रुकना तो बोहुत चाहते थे पर, ये बता बता कर चल दिया 

न आपने रोका हमें, कैसे बताये किस कदर दिल कुचल दिया 

un-hinged...

hinged on point some where some how

waiting to be unhinged? not really...

or may be to wrap overall

and it happened...! shattering...it apart

into nowhere...

trance

thy sipped me to end, my emptiness
quasi static it was in nature if i say
inhaling you in my every breath or beat
i was counting on them to live you all

and i found...
you were larger then both
higher of all, worldly existence
and i could live you all the way

till i was i
and not dispersed in you
to be, not to be
trance was all, what remained to feel...

Life or Death...

I walk alone along side her
to be there when it hard & rough

din't know if I wanted some thing back from her

 still don't know what evaporates my tears

dont know if want to walk out
but it doesn't feel right & painless if I do

insomnia had bitten me , be wrap in her fragerance

it felt so right to be in her essence

don't know if she knew all about the presence

never cared for that, even if it was matter of life of death...

खलिश

खलिश है इन आँखों में, नमी है गायब

जर्द हैं ज़ज्बात, बन के पत्थर 

पत्थर, जिसपे सदियों से है बहता पानी

कोशिश में कुछ ऐसे की बह निकले वोह भी संग संग

पर नैनो को थी किसी की तलाश
या था इंतज़ार, उस एक मुकम्मल अहसास का

जो देंगे उन्हें परवाज़ ए ज़िन्दगी

पहलु में मौत के..

वजूद

कड़वाहट थी, और रहेगी इस फिजा में

चाही या अनचाही, कही अनकही 

बेसाख्ता वक़्त और लोगों से,

अपने वजूद का अहसास कराती हुयी 

घुलती हर अंग में, क्षण में 

भुलाती हर दूसरे अहसास को हमारे ज़हन से...

P.S.: This post on scribblings on the wall has inspired it